The Best Decision I Ever Made
/The experience I had at Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass training, just a little over a year ago, is almost indescribable and no words can really do it justice, but giving you a snapshot of what it was like for me is something I felt like I needed to share.
I could not be happier to share that the very thing that catapulted me forward into the exploration of how I want to show up and be in the world is now available as a digital course you can take at your own pace online! Just thinking about the thousands of lives that will be changed for the better because this training and experience is now open to those who may not be able to attend the live event with Gabby in NYC brings me an overwhelming sense of joy.
I wrote the below in my journal about a week after my first Spirit Junkie Masterclass experience so I could start to process it all. Here is a snapshot of what the opening night of that weekend was like for me...
It’s complicated to try and describe the moment when you have the realization that something is changing your life while you’re literally in the middle of it happening. When you crack open and know that you are forever changed. And that’s just what happened to me at Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass.
Last Friday night, 250 like-minded women (and a few amazing men!) traveled from as far as Australia, and as close as around the corner, to gather together for a weekend in New York to hear the gospel according to Gabby.
When Gabby stepped on stage that first night, the room erupted like a rock star had just taken to the stage at Madison Square Garden, and in truth, one had. Dressed all in white, with killer heels and a blond halo of soft waves—she literally looked like an angel. The feeling of love and excitement was palpable.
Seeing the pure joy in Gabby’s face and the light pouring forth from within her actually moved me to tears before she even said a word. Next came the part when I thought, oh shit, awkward. She told us to hug the people all around us and introduce ourselves.
I am not really in the habit of hugging strangers and I instantly felt fear creep in. I did it, but my heart was not in it. I felt like a fraud. Who was I to be there?
These women are all much more spiritual than me, I thought.
They are all healers and life-coaches and yoga teachers and I’m just a PR girl looking for purpose, I thought.
After settling back in our seats we began with a meditation. I instantly felt more peaceful once I took a deep breath, and realized it was the first one I had taken all day.
I had spent the day rushing from one thing to another and dealing with the perceived dramas of the moment, and now I could relax. Throughout the mediation I felt a sense of deep calm come over me.
At one point Gabby told us to keep our eyes closed and take the hand of the person on either side of us while the meditation continued and we started to sing a Kundalini mantra.
As my hand searched for those belonging to the two strangers seated next to me in the dark, I again felt that fraud thought come up.
What am I doing here? I don’t go to this type of stuff. This is weird, I thought.
But as my hands grasped theirs, a new sensation took hold. All of a sudden I felt the power of the energy in the room, and the vibration in those two hands I held. It was like an electric current I had never known existed was coursing through me from head to toe.
Tears rolled down my face in the dark and I felt a deep release that I had been waiting for, maybe for my entire life. I finally felt like I was right where I was supposed to be.
As we opened our eyes Gabby quickly confessed to the group that she had been “dry heaving and ugly crying” on her meditation pillow that morning. Thinking who am I to teach? Who am I to show up in this way? Who am I to be great?
I was relieved to hear that this woman who had dedicated the past decade of her life to bring light to the places where it is dark, in herself and in others, still has self-doubt like the rest of us. She explained how she got herself through that feeling and back to a centered space, and the authenticity and vulnerability in her confession struck me deeply.
I felt enveloped by her message and something deep inside of me let go and released control.
As the two and a half hour lecture and Q&A continued on, woman after woman stood up, took the microphone and revealed a struggle, a fear, a limiting belief, or a story that had led them to be who they were in that moment.
There were tears for most as the words came out and Gabby held space for their emotion and honored their courage for speaking their fears. It seemed to make people feel better just to say them out loud.
Maybe it was simply that they were not alone in it anymore—to know they were seen, and heard.
The vulnerability I witnessed that night was courage in its purest form. At one point Gabby said, “I’m here to crack you open.” And she was right.
One woman who described being on the roller coaster most of us know well—meaning you feel good, like you’ve got your shit together, finally, and then wham, something new takes you down. You slowly try to pull yourself up again and fall back down, again and again and again. Up down, up down, up down.
Gabby's response to her can be summed up by a message from A Course in Miracles that she called upon: “The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are relying on your own strength.”
In that instant, I immediately understood what she meant, and what that line meant to me. I had just never thought of it that way before.
As someone who had insisted for years that I could do it all on my own, that I didn’t need help—I got that, in a big way.
As I was walking home that night, thoughts whirling around in my mind like a tornado, I suddenly realized that yes, I do believe in miracles, really and truly.
On the corner of 51st Street and 8th Avenue it hit me. That day—exactly one year earlier—was the day I had been brought to my knees as my little corner of the world felt like it had been shattered.
The day I could no longer ignore the truth about my life, and how I was living it as the walls I’d built up—brick by brick and year-by-year— to keep me "safe" began to crumble around me.
The realization that I was embarking on this new journey, that I know will help me heal, exactly one year later to the day after my search for something more was set in motion, is evidence enough to me that synchronicity is real and that I am right where I need to be.
So, there you have it. That was my experience then, and now, just over a year later I can say with with complete conviction that choosing to go through this training was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I went on to attend the level 2 training in February 2015, and had the pleasure of returning to the live level 1 event this past June, and I have watched the Spirit Junkie Masterclass Digital training from beginning to end (yes, you guessed it, more than once).
The energy, passion, and intense feeling of oneness and community that was present in that room live in New York City translates seamlessly into the digital course.
If your interest is piqued, I've included a few video snippets below from the digital course so you can see what it's all about. If you are considering signing up, first of all, let me say congratulations for embracing your curiosity and following your intuition to explore and know more!
And if you have any questions about any of this please feel free to email me at susie@susiedraper.com. You can also find out all the details about the digital course by clicking here!
When you're on a path of inner transformation you often hear the call to share the great messages you've learned. You're called to lead and serve others, inspire your friends and connect to a greater purpose. The call is loud, but the voice of doubt is often even louder.
People stop questioning you when YOU stop questioning yourself. When people ask me what they will gain from my Spirit Junkie Masterclass training my response is: CONFIDENCE. This training puts you into action so that you can rise up, show up and serve. This is your time.
p.s. I’m a proud affiliate of Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass Digital training. I love this course deeply and I believe it has the ability to transform every person's life it touches. As an affiliate, I may earn a referral fee if you take the course from my recommendation.
